Square One

Today is New Years Eve. Today countless people will be celebrating the arrival of the New Year, of 2011. I'm included in the countless number, not only in the celebration but also the New Year Resolutions.
This year has not been epic, great, wonderful, the best yet, or terrific. This year has been alrite on the verge of being bad, I made decisions, some good, some bad. And today I lay in the bed I made.
My New Years Resolution will not be the typical to lose weight or get rich. My Resolution or prayer if you will, is to know God. To really know Him. I want to find my first love.
I find myself this New Years Eve not in the same place as I was last New Years Eve, but I find myself somewhere I don't want to be.

Paul wrote it best.
Romans 7:14-20 NIV

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

God has been ever so faithful and diligent with me. The many times I forgot about Him this year. All the selfish things I put before Him this year. All the things I found more interesting than Him. Like gum on the pew in front of me, the box with people in it (tv), or the blaring sound waves from a worldly band. Yet I am sure of the Love He has for me.

This past year I finished bible school, and went into ministry. Going into ministry is a lot easier said then done. Some days I loved it, sometimes it was rewarding. Other times ministry was stressful, and there were even times I wanted to runaway. Runaway from ministry, from leadership, the pew is a comfortable place to be. It has padded cushions.

The worst part of my year is somewhere along the way, somehow I lost sight of my purpose. I lost focus. I'm thankful for God's mercy and grace, and Him allowing me to regain my focus, and remind me of my purpose. To remind me that He called me. I place my hope in God.

Romans 8:28-30 NIV

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

I believe this with all my heart!

This year, all I want is God. I want to know the Love of God, Share the Love of God, and be an example of the Love of God.

My prayer is that the Lord would take me back to the basics, back to square one.

Puzzle Pieces

Puzzle pieces are cut strategically, strategically to make only one picture, to fit only ONE way. If you have ever put together a puzzle, you know the feeling, when two pieces fit perfectly. The pieces have curves, indentations, and straight parts that compliment the other precisely. It's almost a magical event, when this takes place.

I'm 25 years old, and single. I understand and know there are expectations, landmarks, the norm, and society that govern our lives. I'm no fool, nor am I naive. According to society I should be married or well on my way.
If I said I'm completely happy, nothing is missing, or that I don't long for a companion I would be lying. Countless times have I thought: what he might be like, what his name might be, the color of his eyes, his height, and probably the most puzzling to me....Where is he!?

Making the Pieces Fit:

I noticed lately that after months of trying, it won't ever work. The puzzle pieces that have been so strategically designed don't fit. They didn't fit months ago, and still don't today. The only difference between then and now is the hurt.
So I lay here today.....sorry that I wasted so much time. Sorry that I became so impatient. Realizing when the right piece comes along I'll know. Our pieces will fit perfectly, complimenting one another. The curves of our lives, indentations of our past, and the straight edges....of our future will meet.