Today is New Years Eve. Today countless people will be celebrating the arrival of the New Year, of 2011. I'm included in the countless number, not only in the celebration but also the New Year Resolutions.
This year has not been epic, great, wonderful, the best yet, or terrific. This year has been alrite on the verge of being bad, I made decisions, some good, some bad. And today I lay in the bed I made.
My New Years Resolution will not be the typical to lose weight or get rich. My Resolution or prayer if you will, is to know God. To really know Him. I want to find my first love.
I find myself this New Years Eve not in the same place as I was last New Years Eve, but I find myself somewhere I don't want to be.
Paul wrote it best.
Romans 7:14-20 NIV
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
God has been ever so faithful and diligent with me. The many times I forgot about Him this year. All the selfish things I put before Him this year. All the things I found more interesting than Him. Like gum on the pew in front of me, the box with people in it (tv), or the blaring sound waves from a worldly band. Yet I am sure of the Love He has for me.
This past year I finished bible school, and went into ministry. Going into ministry is a lot easier said then done. Some days I loved it, sometimes it was rewarding. Other times ministry was stressful, and there were even times I wanted to runaway. Runaway from ministry, from leadership, the pew is a comfortable place to be. It has padded cushions.
The worst part of my year is somewhere along the way, somehow I lost sight of my purpose. I lost focus. I'm thankful for God's mercy and grace, and Him allowing me to regain my focus, and remind me of my purpose. To remind me that He called me. I place my hope in God.
Romans 8:28-30 NIV
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
I believe this with all my heart!
This year, all I want is God. I want to know the Love of God, Share the Love of God, and be an example of the Love of God.
My prayer is that the Lord would take me back to the basics, back to square one.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Puzzle Pieces
Puzzle pieces are cut strategically, strategically to make only one picture, to fit only ONE way. If you have ever put together a puzzle, you know the feeling, when two pieces fit perfectly. The pieces have curves, indentations, and straight parts that compliment the other precisely. It's almost a magical event, when this takes place.
I'm 25 years old, and single. I understand and know there are expectations, landmarks, the norm, and society that govern our lives. I'm no fool, nor am I naive. According to society I should be married or well on my way.
If I said I'm completely happy, nothing is missing, or that I don't long for a companion I would be lying. Countless times have I thought: what he might be like, what his name might be, the color of his eyes, his height, and probably the most puzzling to me....Where is he!?
Making the Pieces Fit:
I noticed lately that after months of trying, it won't ever work. The puzzle pieces that have been so strategically designed don't fit. They didn't fit months ago, and still don't today. The only difference between then and now is the hurt.
So I lay here today.....sorry that I wasted so much time. Sorry that I became so impatient. Realizing when the right piece comes along I'll know. Our pieces will fit perfectly, complimenting one another. The curves of our lives, indentations of our past, and the straight edges....of our future will meet.
I'm 25 years old, and single. I understand and know there are expectations, landmarks, the norm, and society that govern our lives. I'm no fool, nor am I naive. According to society I should be married or well on my way.
If I said I'm completely happy, nothing is missing, or that I don't long for a companion I would be lying. Countless times have I thought: what he might be like, what his name might be, the color of his eyes, his height, and probably the most puzzling to me....Where is he!?
Making the Pieces Fit:
I noticed lately that after months of trying, it won't ever work. The puzzle pieces that have been so strategically designed don't fit. They didn't fit months ago, and still don't today. The only difference between then and now is the hurt.
So I lay here today.....sorry that I wasted so much time. Sorry that I became so impatient. Realizing when the right piece comes along I'll know. Our pieces will fit perfectly, complimenting one another. The curves of our lives, indentations of our past, and the straight edges....of our future will meet.
Monday, July 5, 2010
sticky situation.
Have you ever found yourself in a "sticky" situation? If you are like me, there has been plenty of those incredibly"sticky" moments.
I feel like a child often. Many times we allow children to get into things they shouldn't, while we watch from a distance. We watch our children get into "sticky" situations."that's the only way they are going to learn..."
I find myself many times living life, as if though no one is looking after me. I live life, as if I have no one to answer to. Like a child, carefree, in those instances of self seeking.
Humanity is focused on the concept of 'freedom.' The United States for instance, the most desired nation to live in. The home of the free. The possibilities are endless here...because there is not a dictator watching your every move. There is a government who watches from a distance. A government, who doesn't act unless given reason. Only if you break the law, or are a threat to others. Just like a child's parent, who doesn't act, unless given reason. After a child is in a "sticky" situation.
God since the beginning of time has given us 'free will.' Freedom to do as we please. Although He gives us free will, He also shares His desires with us. He has given us the 'Holy Bible,' a book of commandments, promises, love, and direction.
The government has placed laws before us and we follow them. Is it because our God is not visible, we choose Not to follow His commands?
We respect the government, but not the creator of the Universe.
God, is like that parent, who watches over His children. But because of the 'free will' He has given us, He does not intervene, unless we ask Him to.
The bible says He is a gentleman.
The only time God intervened was when He flooded the earth. Then promised He wouldn't do it again.
Lately I've noticed I'm in a "sticky" situation. God has brought it to my attention numerous times. My only problem is letting go. I understand where I am at, is not where he wants me to be. Because of 'free will' I can, and He allows me to stay here. He won't come to my rescue unless, I ask Him to.
Why are the things we want the most, the ones that are the worst for you? Like junk food.
Why is it that its easier to follow government laws, then it is to follow His will for our lives?....
I feel like a child often. Many times we allow children to get into things they shouldn't, while we watch from a distance. We watch our children get into "sticky" situations."that's the only way they are going to learn..."
I find myself many times living life, as if though no one is looking after me. I live life, as if I have no one to answer to. Like a child, carefree, in those instances of self seeking.
Humanity is focused on the concept of 'freedom.' The United States for instance, the most desired nation to live in. The home of the free. The possibilities are endless here...because there is not a dictator watching your every move. There is a government who watches from a distance. A government, who doesn't act unless given reason. Only if you break the law, or are a threat to others. Just like a child's parent, who doesn't act, unless given reason. After a child is in a "sticky" situation.
God since the beginning of time has given us 'free will.' Freedom to do as we please. Although He gives us free will, He also shares His desires with us. He has given us the 'Holy Bible,' a book of commandments, promises, love, and direction.
The government has placed laws before us and we follow them. Is it because our God is not visible, we choose Not to follow His commands?
We respect the government, but not the creator of the Universe.
God, is like that parent, who watches over His children. But because of the 'free will' He has given us, He does not intervene, unless we ask Him to.
The bible says He is a gentleman.
The only time God intervened was when He flooded the earth. Then promised He wouldn't do it again.
Lately I've noticed I'm in a "sticky" situation. God has brought it to my attention numerous times. My only problem is letting go. I understand where I am at, is not where he wants me to be. Because of 'free will' I can, and He allows me to stay here. He won't come to my rescue unless, I ask Him to.
Why are the things we want the most, the ones that are the worst for you? Like junk food.
Why is it that its easier to follow government laws, then it is to follow His will for our lives?....
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Shut Up and Live!
Yesterday i had a bad day!!!
All day long i was grouchy, people were trying me, I just wanted to be left alone. I had time to think during my lunch break...and my thoughts were this: Why do i have to be here?, Man I cant wait to finish so I can get on with the rest of my life, I hate this, Why am i even doing this?, Why did I sacrifice sooo much?, What if all this is for nothing?, basically I thought all these thoughts +1 or 2. I was complaining, I was mad at myself, and I was even questioning God.
Well late afternoon around five I get a text from my mom. The text read
"remember hermana Lola well she passed out here at Wal Mart and then she died. I'm sad i was the last person that talked to her."
Wow! just like that, I was on break in January, back home, and I saw this lady at church, no doubt i probably greeted her. she seemed perfectly healthy. It is still difficult to wrap my head around the fact that she is gone, dead, hasta la vista baby.
God in that moment really just slapped me in the face and said "Shut up and live!"
All day i let little things get the better of me, while a sister from church lay lifeless.
How selfish am, that i would not only be satisfied with life but i wanted everything all day to go my way. How would the world be if we all got everything we wanted. I think it would be pure chaos.
Yesterday was a reality check. I'm sure Lola would have loved another day of life, even if it meant it was gunna be a bad hair day. Yet I complained about all the little things, and never once thought to thank God for life, for the opportunity to be in ministry, or even the clean air I breathe.
While reading this I'm sure you thought of a day or two where you felt everything that could go wrong went wrong. but the reality is you still have life.
There comes a point in life, where we just have to Shut Up and Live! what good is going to come from complaining, or hating life, we only have one life, meanwhile we shouldnt take it for granted. I have to believe the more we are complaining the less time we are actually living life.
*This is speaking to me first of all, having a bad attitude and complaining is an area that i need to work on.
Even though we are not in November, I believe we should practice having an attitude of thanksgiving toward the Lord.
Ps. i had a great day today! =)
Thank You Jesus!
All day long i was grouchy, people were trying me, I just wanted to be left alone. I had time to think during my lunch break...and my thoughts were this: Why do i have to be here?, Man I cant wait to finish so I can get on with the rest of my life, I hate this, Why am i even doing this?, Why did I sacrifice sooo much?, What if all this is for nothing?, basically I thought all these thoughts +1 or 2. I was complaining, I was mad at myself, and I was even questioning God.
Well late afternoon around five I get a text from my mom. The text read
"remember hermana Lola well she passed out here at Wal Mart and then she died. I'm sad i was the last person that talked to her."
Wow! just like that, I was on break in January, back home, and I saw this lady at church, no doubt i probably greeted her. she seemed perfectly healthy. It is still difficult to wrap my head around the fact that she is gone, dead, hasta la vista baby.
God in that moment really just slapped me in the face and said "Shut up and live!"
All day i let little things get the better of me, while a sister from church lay lifeless.
How selfish am, that i would not only be satisfied with life but i wanted everything all day to go my way. How would the world be if we all got everything we wanted. I think it would be pure chaos.
Yesterday was a reality check. I'm sure Lola would have loved another day of life, even if it meant it was gunna be a bad hair day. Yet I complained about all the little things, and never once thought to thank God for life, for the opportunity to be in ministry, or even the clean air I breathe.
While reading this I'm sure you thought of a day or two where you felt everything that could go wrong went wrong. but the reality is you still have life.
There comes a point in life, where we just have to Shut Up and Live! what good is going to come from complaining, or hating life, we only have one life, meanwhile we shouldnt take it for granted. I have to believe the more we are complaining the less time we are actually living life.
*This is speaking to me first of all, having a bad attitude and complaining is an area that i need to work on.
Even though we are not in November, I believe we should practice having an attitude of thanksgiving toward the Lord.
Ps. i had a great day today! =)
Thank You Jesus!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
hush now baby don't say a word....
"why must one live to die? why must we try and fail? why do we live at all? i wonder if there is a higher power, a higher being, if they care at all? or are we part of someone's insanely large, 6 billion, puppet collection? i wonder why do we exist at all?"
Have u ever took a step back and analyzed/examined/looked at ur life?
the likelyhood of u ever doing this is high. and probably quite often. we look at where we r in life, wat milestones we've passed, which ones we should be at. wat r the things we have accomplished, wat have we not accomplished?
when we look at the world around us our lives may seem like a mockary. we are lead to believe we r individualist, orignial, unique. but the truth is we are all the same. we r not unique, sorry ur mum lied, but we r all cut from the same cookie cutter. its not anything we could have helped, we have be taught this since the beginning of time. we are all just miniscule beings, part of a greater society and an even greater so world. being part of this massive system, one in which we have no control over, is very diificult.
it is very easily for one to have a sense of helplessness, wats the point anyway?... i kno that road way too well, but i cant help but believe that im not the only one who has been there. so perhaps you have been here, the road i find myself this afternoon. a road filled with: questions about the unknown. why does one exist, why is there pain, failure, love, hate, why does one worry, why do we look forward to a future, why try...we just die, wats the point of all this, does God really exist, why did God create us, and the list can go on for an infinite amount of miles.
Today for the first time ever i met a young woman named: Benita Veliz. Benny is intelligent, sweet, funny, ambitious, kind, caring, and all together a wonderful person. before today i knew who Benny was, but today a door was opened to get to kno her. her stories of adversity she has faced are marvelous. im astonished dat someone with so much adversity in her life still is ambitous, optimistic, and still has a very strong faith in God. Benny has inspired me greatly.
i dont have all the answers to my questions. but i do believe, there is something to this life, something greater than wat meets the eyes!
Have u ever took a step back and analyzed/examined/looked at ur life?
the likelyhood of u ever doing this is high. and probably quite often. we look at where we r in life, wat milestones we've passed, which ones we should be at. wat r the things we have accomplished, wat have we not accomplished?
when we look at the world around us our lives may seem like a mockary. we are lead to believe we r individualist, orignial, unique. but the truth is we are all the same. we r not unique, sorry ur mum lied, but we r all cut from the same cookie cutter. its not anything we could have helped, we have be taught this since the beginning of time. we are all just miniscule beings, part of a greater society and an even greater so world. being part of this massive system, one in which we have no control over, is very diificult.
it is very easily for one to have a sense of helplessness, wats the point anyway?... i kno that road way too well, but i cant help but believe that im not the only one who has been there. so perhaps you have been here, the road i find myself this afternoon. a road filled with: questions about the unknown. why does one exist, why is there pain, failure, love, hate, why does one worry, why do we look forward to a future, why try...we just die, wats the point of all this, does God really exist, why did God create us, and the list can go on for an infinite amount of miles.
Today for the first time ever i met a young woman named: Benita Veliz. Benny is intelligent, sweet, funny, ambitious, kind, caring, and all together a wonderful person. before today i knew who Benny was, but today a door was opened to get to kno her. her stories of adversity she has faced are marvelous. im astonished dat someone with so much adversity in her life still is ambitous, optimistic, and still has a very strong faith in God. Benny has inspired me greatly.
i dont have all the answers to my questions. but i do believe, there is something to this life, something greater than wat meets the eyes!
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